I have created a new blog so I will be moving to that one and will not longer post on this blog. Please follow me over there and I hope you enjoy!
The new blog: http://chasingfamilydreams.blogspot.com/
Felicia
Sunday, October 2, 2016
Thursday, July 7, 2016
What are we doing Thursdays!!
What am I doing today?
Today is a busy day. I am trying to get everything in order before this weekend. My professor was kind enough to allow me to take a upcoming exam early due to a conflict that I had. I had to run up to the college at 10 this morning to take that. I was up really late studying for it and up to early with the boys this morning. After I picked the boys up from my sweet friend Ashlea's house I came home and fed them the last few hotdogs we had in the fridge. Went to wash my car but as soon as I pull up to the car wash they close it down for some reason. That was frustrating. I had a few emails that I needed to send so I thought while the kids are napping I could do that. Laundry is in the wash. I have a load that needs to be folded now. A few more loads to do. I also have to make a bank run, library run, clean out my car, cook dinner, can tomatoes, and do a few things to get ready for this weekend. Like I said, today is a busy day! If I can manage just a few of those things I think I'll be doing pretty good.
What are the boys doing?
The boys had a blast over at their friends house this morning. Dexter keeps asking me if we can go back this afternoon and tomorrow. I sure wish we could, but mommy has a lot of things to do. Other than that they have been playing. Both of them are playing so well "knock on wood" together since we got back from gigi and pawpaw's this past weekend. I don't know if it was them being able to just play constantly with their cousins or if it's just starting to happen. Either way they have really been playing well together this week. Thank you Lord. Mommy really appreciates it. I love seeing them and hearing them play well with each other.
A few thoughts for the day:
I want to change the name of this blog or create a new one with a different name if I can't change the name of this one. Any suggestions for a blog name? I have never really liked keeping up with the Inman's it seems so kardashian like and it just rubs me the wrong way. Also, I am thinking about hiring someone to paint our cabinets instead of me doing it. I really would enjoy doing it on my own. However, the time is just not there with me taking classes, etc. So, if the price is right it would save me a ton of work and stress and have someone else do it for me. If you are local and have any recommendations, please shoot me an e-mail. Also, I ordered my mom a cheap tablet so that she can get on facebook and see my pics of the boys or I can send her pics, etc. This should be interesting.
~Enjoy~
Today is a busy day. I am trying to get everything in order before this weekend. My professor was kind enough to allow me to take a upcoming exam early due to a conflict that I had. I had to run up to the college at 10 this morning to take that. I was up really late studying for it and up to early with the boys this morning. After I picked the boys up from my sweet friend Ashlea's house I came home and fed them the last few hotdogs we had in the fridge. Went to wash my car but as soon as I pull up to the car wash they close it down for some reason. That was frustrating. I had a few emails that I needed to send so I thought while the kids are napping I could do that. Laundry is in the wash. I have a load that needs to be folded now. A few more loads to do. I also have to make a bank run, library run, clean out my car, cook dinner, can tomatoes, and do a few things to get ready for this weekend. Like I said, today is a busy day! If I can manage just a few of those things I think I'll be doing pretty good.
What are the boys doing?
The boys had a blast over at their friends house this morning. Dexter keeps asking me if we can go back this afternoon and tomorrow. I sure wish we could, but mommy has a lot of things to do. Other than that they have been playing. Both of them are playing so well "knock on wood" together since we got back from gigi and pawpaw's this past weekend. I don't know if it was them being able to just play constantly with their cousins or if it's just starting to happen. Either way they have really been playing well together this week. Thank you Lord. Mommy really appreciates it. I love seeing them and hearing them play well with each other.
A few thoughts for the day:
I want to change the name of this blog or create a new one with a different name if I can't change the name of this one. Any suggestions for a blog name? I have never really liked keeping up with the Inman's it seems so kardashian like and it just rubs me the wrong way. Also, I am thinking about hiring someone to paint our cabinets instead of me doing it. I really would enjoy doing it on my own. However, the time is just not there with me taking classes, etc. So, if the price is right it would save me a ton of work and stress and have someone else do it for me. If you are local and have any recommendations, please shoot me an e-mail. Also, I ordered my mom a cheap tablet so that she can get on facebook and see my pics of the boys or I can send her pics, etc. This should be interesting.
~Enjoy~
Sunday, July 3, 2016
These days happen
Over the years I have come to accept that my mother is an alcoholic, and she will will probably always be an alcoholic. I have come to accept that she smokes cigarettes that will destroy her lungs and will probably always smoke. I have come to accept that she has dementia which is a disease that affects your mind/memory all because of her drinking over the years. However, that does not mean that it does not hurt so bad to see her taking a drink of alcohol. Or that is doesn't hurt and make me angry every time I call her and she is so drunk that I can't understand a word she is saying. It hurts deep and I usually don't show that side because it is a part of my life that I try to keep hidden. Not because I am ashamed of it which I used to be, but more because it is easier to only show the surface where you know the problem is there but you don't have those hurt feelings. Not today. Today I am coming to you all broken and sad. Some may say, oh, lets not "air the dirty laundry". Well, this is me, my life. A very small portion of my life that I have dealt with my whole life. Today I am sitting in a doctors office with my mother. She is in need of her inhaler refilled again because she is having trouble breathing. On most days I would brush it off and not think too much about it but not today. Today I picked up my drunk mother (I say this literal because I could smell the alcohol all over her when she got in my car) to take her to get medication for a lung problem that is getting worse and worse over the years. Just in this year she has had to use an inhaler more than I have ever seen her use one. I know that through the years she is going to continue to go downhill. I know what all of these things can do to your body, and I continue to see them be proven fact time and time again. Tomorrow will be a better day. Tomorrow I will get up and get myself together, but for today I am sad. I am sad that she can't stop. I am sad that her health is deteriorating over the years. However with all of this heart wrenching tug at your heart stuff I am so thankful. I am thankful that even though her health is deteriorating it is doing so slowly and that most days are still very good days. Today, I find hope in God. I find hope that my God is a God who performs miracles. If those miracles never come to her I know that everything works out to glorify Him. I have seen it time and time again. That alone gives me hope and peace. If you are reading this just lift up a prayer for her addictions, prayer for her health, and most of all a prayer for conviction on her heart. I lay all of this down at the feet of Jesus. This song is perfect for today. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Btfz9qKXUIk I hope it helps you too to find some confort.
I don't write this so that I can put my mother in a bad image and I hope that you don't view her in a bad image. I really do. She is not always drinking to the point where she is slurring her words or can't understand a word you are saying. Today was just a bad day and it got to me because she was also sick. My mother is a wonderful person and you would be lucky to know her and have her in your life. She has a sickness that she can't get away from, but it does not change who she is and always has been. She is a person that would do anything for anyone. She helps me in so many ways and I will forever be grateful. She loves her grandchildren more than anything and would do anything for them. I do mean anything. lol. She really is a wonderful person.
I do write this because just maybe there is someone out there feeling the same way I do. I am a mixture of feeling when it comes to this topic. I am sad some days, angry some days, and scared of the unknown future other days. It is okay to let yourself feel these feelings. To have those days where you just need to feel it. It's part of healing. However, you have to pick yourself up and look around. This is just a part of your life and you have so many other things that you can be thankful for. For me I have God in my life, I have my wonderful husband, kids and a huge family, and I still have my mother in my life. A mother who loves me, but can't help her addiction.
~Enjoy~
I don't write this so that I can put my mother in a bad image and I hope that you don't view her in a bad image. I really do. She is not always drinking to the point where she is slurring her words or can't understand a word you are saying. Today was just a bad day and it got to me because she was also sick. My mother is a wonderful person and you would be lucky to know her and have her in your life. She has a sickness that she can't get away from, but it does not change who she is and always has been. She is a person that would do anything for anyone. She helps me in so many ways and I will forever be grateful. She loves her grandchildren more than anything and would do anything for them. I do mean anything. lol. She really is a wonderful person.
I do write this because just maybe there is someone out there feeling the same way I do. I am a mixture of feeling when it comes to this topic. I am sad some days, angry some days, and scared of the unknown future other days. It is okay to let yourself feel these feelings. To have those days where you just need to feel it. It's part of healing. However, you have to pick yourself up and look around. This is just a part of your life and you have so many other things that you can be thankful for. For me I have God in my life, I have my wonderful husband, kids and a huge family, and I still have my mother in my life. A mother who loves me, but can't help her addiction.
~Enjoy~
Thursday, May 12, 2016
My boys
Let us talk about my boys today! I love seeing them grow and change. I wanted to share a few things about them that I normally don't get around to sharing.
Lets start with Dexter... The kid is so smart!!! When did he become a little genius. Just talk to him and he will amaze you. The other day he was trying to tell me that he distracted me, but I could not understand what he was saying. He used the word in a sentence to make me understand him. He said, "like when carter is crying when you change his diaper and I have to distract him". It was awesome! I never realized that he could think outside the box to problem solve and get me to realize what he was saying. Tonight we were playing this little kids charades game that we got from the kids meal at Chick Fil A. Well, we played the easy way and talked out our pictures to make the other person guess it. He knew almost everything on his card and could say things to get me to guess what it is. For example, for rainbow he said, "it was something in the sky that was very colorful". I was so impressed with this kid!!! He has learned so much from MMO. I 100% agree with my decision to put him in there. Just for the social skills alone. Since he has started his hitting and throwing has improved so much! I see him out on the playground playing with the other kids and it just melts my heart. Another thing that he does that I just love even though it also makes me a little sad at the same time... I will always say to him... did you know you are my favorite? Then, every single time he will say mommy, you are my favorite just a little bit... dad is my favorite a lot. It is the cutest thing! I love that he loves his daddy so much!!! Also, just here recently I have seen him show empathy! Empathy is not something that happens in very young kids. It usually starts around 4+, so I was really excited to see this in him. It helps when you have a rough kid for them to have a little empathy towards others and that their actions hurt others. What a sweet kid he is too. The other day I wouldn't give his brother a fruit snack because he wouldn't ask me for what he wanted(we're trying to get him to talk more instead of grunt and point). Carter was just crying and crying. Well, I noticed out of the corner of my eye Dexter peeking around the corner holding out his fruit snacks...Carter followed Dexter in the living room and I overheard Dexter say, "I will share with you brother". It melted my heart into a puddle. Just like today we had some friends over to play and the younger brother was upset because his brothers weren't playing with him and I overheard Dexter say come here I will play with you!!! Melt my heart again! Anyways, all of this may seem like bragging and I truly hope you don't see it as that. I just wanted to share with you a few things that I have really seen come out in them recently. Things that I normally don't share because I am so bogged down with raising the hardest child I have ever encountered!! We will get to him soon! All good stuff, all good stuff!
Now, let us talk about my strong willed, feisty, loving child, Carter! This kid is going to be a force when he grows up. I am going to have to do some major parenting as he grows and gets older. I love him so much, but wow! Just wow! He does not give up when he wants something. He will go after it with all that he has. He likes to do things the way that he wants them done. Everything about him is so intense! He came out that way too! When he decided to come out he was coming and the doctor almost didn't make it in time. I was not pushing and I new he was almost there! Anyways, all of this is a good thing! He is going to be my go kid or at least I hope. I am like that and I see a lot of me in his attitude(probably why we clash so much). Just figuring out how to tame and mold it is key! All of this is so good. I am starting to see the bigger picture and I see that it is good! He is also so funny!!!! HIS LAUGH IS THE BEST THING EVER!!! Seriously, get him to laugh for you. It will feel you with such joy!! He laughs with his whole mouth and face! I mean his whole mouth opens so wide and he laughs! It is so cute! I have got to get it on video! He loves to dance! you can turn the music on anywhere and he will break it down for you. Music also calms him. Little tip if you are ever watching him for me and he is uncontrollably crying. He has recently started liking the only show he has ever paid any attention to which is mickey mouse. Everytime it comes on he opens his mouth and lets out a ahhh like he is shocked.!!! It is adorable. He loves to workout with me and imitate my moves! It's hilarious! Either that or he pounds on his daddy while daddy is trying to do mountain climbers. He loves the outdoors. If he can go outside he is happy! The other day he helped me plant my marigold that Dexter brought home from school for me. He loved playing in the potting soil! He's such a little helper. Did I mention that he is a big MOMMAS boy? I had to have one that preferred me over Dustin since Dexter definitely prefers his daddy!
They both feel me with such joy most everyday! I love them more than words could ever describe!
I hope you enjoyed reading a little about how sweet, awesome, kind, playful, smart, kids they are. I don't say it enough! I really don't!! These kids are so goofy and I wish I could just follow them around with the video camera.
Enjoy!
Lets start with Dexter... The kid is so smart!!! When did he become a little genius. Just talk to him and he will amaze you. The other day he was trying to tell me that he distracted me, but I could not understand what he was saying. He used the word in a sentence to make me understand him. He said, "like when carter is crying when you change his diaper and I have to distract him". It was awesome! I never realized that he could think outside the box to problem solve and get me to realize what he was saying. Tonight we were playing this little kids charades game that we got from the kids meal at Chick Fil A. Well, we played the easy way and talked out our pictures to make the other person guess it. He knew almost everything on his card and could say things to get me to guess what it is. For example, for rainbow he said, "it was something in the sky that was very colorful". I was so impressed with this kid!!! He has learned so much from MMO. I 100% agree with my decision to put him in there. Just for the social skills alone. Since he has started his hitting and throwing has improved so much! I see him out on the playground playing with the other kids and it just melts my heart. Another thing that he does that I just love even though it also makes me a little sad at the same time... I will always say to him... did you know you are my favorite? Then, every single time he will say mommy, you are my favorite just a little bit... dad is my favorite a lot. It is the cutest thing! I love that he loves his daddy so much!!! Also, just here recently I have seen him show empathy! Empathy is not something that happens in very young kids. It usually starts around 4+, so I was really excited to see this in him. It helps when you have a rough kid for them to have a little empathy towards others and that their actions hurt others. What a sweet kid he is too. The other day I wouldn't give his brother a fruit snack because he wouldn't ask me for what he wanted(we're trying to get him to talk more instead of grunt and point). Carter was just crying and crying. Well, I noticed out of the corner of my eye Dexter peeking around the corner holding out his fruit snacks...Carter followed Dexter in the living room and I overheard Dexter say, "I will share with you brother". It melted my heart into a puddle. Just like today we had some friends over to play and the younger brother was upset because his brothers weren't playing with him and I overheard Dexter say come here I will play with you!!! Melt my heart again! Anyways, all of this may seem like bragging and I truly hope you don't see it as that. I just wanted to share with you a few things that I have really seen come out in them recently. Things that I normally don't share because I am so bogged down with raising the hardest child I have ever encountered!! We will get to him soon! All good stuff, all good stuff!
Now, let us talk about my strong willed, feisty, loving child, Carter! This kid is going to be a force when he grows up. I am going to have to do some major parenting as he grows and gets older. I love him so much, but wow! Just wow! He does not give up when he wants something. He will go after it with all that he has. He likes to do things the way that he wants them done. Everything about him is so intense! He came out that way too! When he decided to come out he was coming and the doctor almost didn't make it in time. I was not pushing and I new he was almost there! Anyways, all of this is a good thing! He is going to be my go kid or at least I hope. I am like that and I see a lot of me in his attitude(probably why we clash so much). Just figuring out how to tame and mold it is key! All of this is so good. I am starting to see the bigger picture and I see that it is good! He is also so funny!!!! HIS LAUGH IS THE BEST THING EVER!!! Seriously, get him to laugh for you. It will feel you with such joy!! He laughs with his whole mouth and face! I mean his whole mouth opens so wide and he laughs! It is so cute! I have got to get it on video! He loves to dance! you can turn the music on anywhere and he will break it down for you. Music also calms him. Little tip if you are ever watching him for me and he is uncontrollably crying. He has recently started liking the only show he has ever paid any attention to which is mickey mouse. Everytime it comes on he opens his mouth and lets out a ahhh like he is shocked.!!! It is adorable. He loves to workout with me and imitate my moves! It's hilarious! Either that or he pounds on his daddy while daddy is trying to do mountain climbers. He loves the outdoors. If he can go outside he is happy! The other day he helped me plant my marigold that Dexter brought home from school for me. He loved playing in the potting soil! He's such a little helper. Did I mention that he is a big MOMMAS boy? I had to have one that preferred me over Dustin since Dexter definitely prefers his daddy!
They both feel me with such joy most everyday! I love them more than words could ever describe!
I hope you enjoyed reading a little about how sweet, awesome, kind, playful, smart, kids they are. I don't say it enough! I really don't!! These kids are so goofy and I wish I could just follow them around with the video camera.
Enjoy!
Friday, January 8, 2016
HAPPY NEW YEAR
Does anyone else make new years resolutions/goals? Well, I do and I'm not afraid to admit it. I love to make goals and see how much I can accomplish! Most of all I love to draw a line through the ones that I have accomplished and look back on the ones that I can improve on. So, last year I had quite a few new years goals and I am proud to say that I accomplished a good bit of them. I'll share them with you and share with you whether or not I accomplished them or not. Then, I will share this years goals with you.
2015 New years resolutions:
1. Start going to the gym weekly - Since I was breast feeding for 9-10 months of this year this goal went down the drain pretty much. I am not a huge water drinker so every time I would start working out my milk supply would drop and it just got frustrating so I pretty much knew this wasn't going to happen. I at least wanted to put it on the list for good measure. I did manage to get in the gym a good bit, but it definitely wasn't as much as I would have liked.
2. Be positive daily - I am not always wrapped in bubbles and painted with smiles. HA! This is something I have been struggling with every since I had Carter. I have not handled the stress of the extra kid very well. It is something that I continue to work on daily and I am getting better. I just wanted to find something positive to bring to the table everyday. I think I have done it,but it hasn't been in the way I had imagined when I made this goal.
Side note: Have children is hard work. Having children and living 2 hours away from family is even harder. I can't just run my kids to my moms for an hour of cleaning, etc... I'm not complaining, because we all know my plans was to have kids, etc,but I never expected it to be so hard! Just say'n. I love them so much and the good things definitely outweigh the bad, but I want to be real with you all and tell you that it's not easy and I am for the most part everyday a little overwhelmed. I wouldn't change it, but it's just the way it is and I am learning to work with it. They are small and require lots of love and energy so yes, some days I need a little positive things to look at... Ok, I am done rambling about that.
3. Find a church to attend in Madison area - YES WE DID! The way we found this church is something that I could have never orchestrated on my own in a million years and I know without a doubt this is where we are supposed to be at this point in our lives. I love you Candace and I am so thankful you decided to talk to me at the beach!
4. Breastfeed until the summer at least - YES I DID and more! This was a huge accomplishment for me. I was so proud that I made it breastfeeding that long. If I am honest with myself I was completely ready to stop by the end of summer for sure, but Carter was just not having it. It took me forever to get him on a bottle and I think my breaking point was when we went camping and I had to nurse him all night pretty much every night so he wouldn't cry all night long and wake all the other campers up. It was so frustrating and exhausting. Even now I look back and think yes I did that, but if I ever have another child I am going to have a hard time doing it again. Props to you all who have breastfeed multiple babies because breastfeeding the one for that long was exhausting. (of course, if I ever have another child I will for multiple reason, but I may not enjoy it. OR will I? Only time will tell and of course there has to be another child and who knows if that will happen)
5. Work on not being so negative - I think I accomplished this for the most part. I always try to see the good in every situation. I do know that I tend to overreact when something is happening, but I usually will go back and calm myself down and try to see the situation differently.
6. Spend more quality time with family - I think this was about 1/2 and 1/2. I hate to say that because my family is pretty much the most important thing in my life and I should schedule time to spend with them above the rest. I think we did well with spending quality time, etc with out extended family and family outside of our home. We tend to travel to hb quite a bit to see our family. I love doing that because growing up so close to everyone it gets really lonely not being able to see them as much. However, because we do a lot of traveling and because of my school schedule I feel like our little bitty family (d, me and the boys) don't get as much quality time because of the constant going.
7. Become a better sewer(is that even a word) - Fail. I can sew. Don't get me wrong, but I want to be able to read patterns and make little rompers and john johns for carter. I did make my sister 2 car seat covers for the boys and I think they turned out pretty good.
8. Make new friends - YES! Being so far from home and being the extravert that I am I tend to thrive off of friendships. I love chatting and hanging out with my friends! I love everything about it so I am always looking to form new friendships! When Dustin and I first were married and I moved here I was so alone. Yea, I was working and I had my work friends, but I didn't have those close personal friendships that I crave. It has been so nice to meet many mom friends and even friends through church, etc. If only we lived in the same neighborhood. Huntsville is so big! IT takes me 40 min to get to my BFF's house. Not complaining because I'll gladly go anyday. :)
9. learn to let things go - I did about 50/50 on this. This is my big problem area. Maybe I'm not the only one who does it? Surely! Anyways, when I get irritated over something or something happens or whatever it may be. I tend to fume about it for quite a bit. IT doesn't even have to be something that is irritating or frustrating. It can be a simple conversation. I tend to think about it over and over again and analyze it until I have worked myself in a frenzy thinking I said the wrong thing, etc. If you do this, you know what I mean.
10. Pass the math exam to skip the lower math - Well, I didn't take the math exam and I am glad that I didn't. I spoke with an advisor at Athens who informed me they had a math I could take that would count for my finite math course and it only had a prerequisite of 1 college level math course(which I had). So, yay! I was so excited when she told me this, y'all. you have no idea how stressed I have been over this math test! I haven't taken a math course since 2008!
11. Start going on a date night with Dustin once a month - DIDN'T HAPPEN! This is one that I am sad about. I have got to find a babysitter for up here. I did get to sneak in a few dates here and there, but we need a few more for sure.
12. Clean up every night before bed - I started out good on this and then I just failed miserably.
13. Get out of the house more with the boys - YES
14. Spend quality time with each boy - NO and YES - By quality time I really meant to go with just me and one of the boys and do something that they wanted to do. I did this one time with Dex. Since I was breastfeeding I couldn't be gone very long 3-4 hr. tops. and then when I was done breastfeeding it was close to the end of the year and that's when everything speeds up so I failed at this. Sadly. I of course got that quality time with Carter since he was attached to me for almost 10 months.
2016 goals: For this year I wanted to keep it a little more simple. I want to focus on my faith, family, health, home and school. Okay, maybe it's not that simple, but I feel like it is.
1. Grow in my relationship with God.
2. Date night once a month with my husband and boys ( each of them seperately) - this sounds like a lot of date nights, but really for the boys a date night might consist of us going to the park and playing together. Just that quality bonding time is what I am looking for.
3. Quality family time - As much as I love going home I also have got to learn that we need that time also for our little family to grow and flurish at home. So, we will be going home probably a lot, but I also don't want it to interfere with our time up here just being with US. So much of our week is spent with working, taking care of kids, school work that on the weekends I would really like to just be with my family.
4. Become strong with fitness - I am starting a connect group at church. It will be a fitness group, but the theme is MIND BODY AND SOUL. I really hope someone signs up for it and I am really excited to give this a go. Something that I has been stirring inside of me is to 1 become fit and just have more energy overall and 2 to transform my body mentally as well. In this group I hope that we ladies can bond and just get whatever it is out there, share some scripture or anything uplifting and then work out and become strong physically. I could go into depth more about this and my views on it, but for now it's pending and I hope someone signs up so we can go on this adventure together and I can make this vision a reality. I may do a blog post on it later. We will see.
5. Cleaning schedule - I need to get into a routine with this so bad! I'll leave it at that.
6. Make all a's in my classes - This is a personal preference goal. When I make A's I feel like I have done an excellent job and I feel like I am learning something. So far I have been able to make all A's and I hope to continue to do that, but man is it hard finding the time to study with 2 kids! The struggle to spend time with my family vs. study really gets me here lately.
7. Pay off my car and start saving for a new car - My car will be paid off here soon and our plan has always been to just put the money into savings afterwards to save up for if we ever have to buy another car we can pay cash for it. We will see. I do know that my car(which I LOVE) is running out of room to carry all of our stuff in when we go on the various trips throughout the year. This past fall we had to buy a luggage bag for the roof. It worked well, but I have been itching for extra room to carry more people since I do carry mom up to huntsville with me occasionally, etc. We will see. Dustin has informed me that it is not a good idea for us to get a 3rd row right now and I have went and test drove a 3rd row just to inform myself that yea, this isn't happening right now. haha. Dustin just doesn't know that my determination is always strong (or maybe he does and that is why he went with the right wording of he doesn't think it's a good idea instead of just a flat out no.. he appealed to the realistic side of me). If I have to save up to buy one I'm going to do it. Now, by the time I get that saved up I may not need or want a 3rd row or Dustin may want a different vehicle, etc. BUT just know that for right now I want a 3rd row. :/ haha.
8. Make Carter a blanket - I made Dexter a blanket and I want to make Carter one too. I don't even have a theme for his poor little room right now so I haven't decided what fabric I want. I think I found some at JoAnn's a while back that I loved and was the same material as Dexter's. However, that was back in October and I don't know if they would even still have it. I need to go see soon.
9. Learn a new talent - I want to learn something new this year that I can physically do. I got my flute out the other day and played. First time I have played in a few years. It felt amazing. I would love to play again, but I just don't have the time to join the local band group that I played with for a few times before Dex was born. So, if I can learn something that I can do while at home with the kids that would be great.
That is it for now. I will occasionally go over my list and add new things, but these are the ones I have come up with for now. I do want to start adding in Monthly goals for house works, home life, etc... but these are the overall 2016 goals. I am sure this post is very badly grammatically written, but it is 1 a.m and I just don't feel like going back over it for errors. If you see one or think oh, her writing is very flawed, please keep the opinions to yourself. I don't write for you to point out my run on sentences, wrong commas, etc. I write to share what's on my mind and I hope you enjoy. Most of all I hope you too can make some new years resolutions or goals. Even if you don't keep them just make a few and aim to keep them. It's always worth the shot. Who knows you may even surprise yourself and keep them all.
Enjoy!
2015 New years resolutions:
1. Start going to the gym weekly - Since I was breast feeding for 9-10 months of this year this goal went down the drain pretty much. I am not a huge water drinker so every time I would start working out my milk supply would drop and it just got frustrating so I pretty much knew this wasn't going to happen. I at least wanted to put it on the list for good measure. I did manage to get in the gym a good bit, but it definitely wasn't as much as I would have liked.
2. Be positive daily - I am not always wrapped in bubbles and painted with smiles. HA! This is something I have been struggling with every since I had Carter. I have not handled the stress of the extra kid very well. It is something that I continue to work on daily and I am getting better. I just wanted to find something positive to bring to the table everyday. I think I have done it,but it hasn't been in the way I had imagined when I made this goal.
Side note: Have children is hard work. Having children and living 2 hours away from family is even harder. I can't just run my kids to my moms for an hour of cleaning, etc... I'm not complaining, because we all know my plans was to have kids, etc,but I never expected it to be so hard! Just say'n. I love them so much and the good things definitely outweigh the bad, but I want to be real with you all and tell you that it's not easy and I am for the most part everyday a little overwhelmed. I wouldn't change it, but it's just the way it is and I am learning to work with it. They are small and require lots of love and energy so yes, some days I need a little positive things to look at... Ok, I am done rambling about that.
3. Find a church to attend in Madison area - YES WE DID! The way we found this church is something that I could have never orchestrated on my own in a million years and I know without a doubt this is where we are supposed to be at this point in our lives. I love you Candace and I am so thankful you decided to talk to me at the beach!
4. Breastfeed until the summer at least - YES I DID and more! This was a huge accomplishment for me. I was so proud that I made it breastfeeding that long. If I am honest with myself I was completely ready to stop by the end of summer for sure, but Carter was just not having it. It took me forever to get him on a bottle and I think my breaking point was when we went camping and I had to nurse him all night pretty much every night so he wouldn't cry all night long and wake all the other campers up. It was so frustrating and exhausting. Even now I look back and think yes I did that, but if I ever have another child I am going to have a hard time doing it again. Props to you all who have breastfeed multiple babies because breastfeeding the one for that long was exhausting. (of course, if I ever have another child I will for multiple reason, but I may not enjoy it. OR will I? Only time will tell and of course there has to be another child and who knows if that will happen)
5. Work on not being so negative - I think I accomplished this for the most part. I always try to see the good in every situation. I do know that I tend to overreact when something is happening, but I usually will go back and calm myself down and try to see the situation differently.
6. Spend more quality time with family - I think this was about 1/2 and 1/2. I hate to say that because my family is pretty much the most important thing in my life and I should schedule time to spend with them above the rest. I think we did well with spending quality time, etc with out extended family and family outside of our home. We tend to travel to hb quite a bit to see our family. I love doing that because growing up so close to everyone it gets really lonely not being able to see them as much. However, because we do a lot of traveling and because of my school schedule I feel like our little bitty family (d, me and the boys) don't get as much quality time because of the constant going.
7. Become a better sewer(is that even a word) - Fail. I can sew. Don't get me wrong, but I want to be able to read patterns and make little rompers and john johns for carter. I did make my sister 2 car seat covers for the boys and I think they turned out pretty good.
8. Make new friends - YES! Being so far from home and being the extravert that I am I tend to thrive off of friendships. I love chatting and hanging out with my friends! I love everything about it so I am always looking to form new friendships! When Dustin and I first were married and I moved here I was so alone. Yea, I was working and I had my work friends, but I didn't have those close personal friendships that I crave. It has been so nice to meet many mom friends and even friends through church, etc. If only we lived in the same neighborhood. Huntsville is so big! IT takes me 40 min to get to my BFF's house. Not complaining because I'll gladly go anyday. :)
9. learn to let things go - I did about 50/50 on this. This is my big problem area. Maybe I'm not the only one who does it? Surely! Anyways, when I get irritated over something or something happens or whatever it may be. I tend to fume about it for quite a bit. IT doesn't even have to be something that is irritating or frustrating. It can be a simple conversation. I tend to think about it over and over again and analyze it until I have worked myself in a frenzy thinking I said the wrong thing, etc. If you do this, you know what I mean.
10. Pass the math exam to skip the lower math - Well, I didn't take the math exam and I am glad that I didn't. I spoke with an advisor at Athens who informed me they had a math I could take that would count for my finite math course and it only had a prerequisite of 1 college level math course(which I had). So, yay! I was so excited when she told me this, y'all. you have no idea how stressed I have been over this math test! I haven't taken a math course since 2008!
11. Start going on a date night with Dustin once a month - DIDN'T HAPPEN! This is one that I am sad about. I have got to find a babysitter for up here. I did get to sneak in a few dates here and there, but we need a few more for sure.
12. Clean up every night before bed - I started out good on this and then I just failed miserably.
13. Get out of the house more with the boys - YES
14. Spend quality time with each boy - NO and YES - By quality time I really meant to go with just me and one of the boys and do something that they wanted to do. I did this one time with Dex. Since I was breastfeeding I couldn't be gone very long 3-4 hr. tops. and then when I was done breastfeeding it was close to the end of the year and that's when everything speeds up so I failed at this. Sadly. I of course got that quality time with Carter since he was attached to me for almost 10 months.
2016 goals: For this year I wanted to keep it a little more simple. I want to focus on my faith, family, health, home and school. Okay, maybe it's not that simple, but I feel like it is.
1. Grow in my relationship with God.
2. Date night once a month with my husband and boys ( each of them seperately) - this sounds like a lot of date nights, but really for the boys a date night might consist of us going to the park and playing together. Just that quality bonding time is what I am looking for.
3. Quality family time - As much as I love going home I also have got to learn that we need that time also for our little family to grow and flurish at home. So, we will be going home probably a lot, but I also don't want it to interfere with our time up here just being with US. So much of our week is spent with working, taking care of kids, school work that on the weekends I would really like to just be with my family.
4. Become strong with fitness - I am starting a connect group at church. It will be a fitness group, but the theme is MIND BODY AND SOUL. I really hope someone signs up for it and I am really excited to give this a go. Something that I has been stirring inside of me is to 1 become fit and just have more energy overall and 2 to transform my body mentally as well. In this group I hope that we ladies can bond and just get whatever it is out there, share some scripture or anything uplifting and then work out and become strong physically. I could go into depth more about this and my views on it, but for now it's pending and I hope someone signs up so we can go on this adventure together and I can make this vision a reality. I may do a blog post on it later. We will see.
5. Cleaning schedule - I need to get into a routine with this so bad! I'll leave it at that.
6. Make all a's in my classes - This is a personal preference goal. When I make A's I feel like I have done an excellent job and I feel like I am learning something. So far I have been able to make all A's and I hope to continue to do that, but man is it hard finding the time to study with 2 kids! The struggle to spend time with my family vs. study really gets me here lately.
7. Pay off my car and start saving for a new car - My car will be paid off here soon and our plan has always been to just put the money into savings afterwards to save up for if we ever have to buy another car we can pay cash for it. We will see. I do know that my car(which I LOVE) is running out of room to carry all of our stuff in when we go on the various trips throughout the year. This past fall we had to buy a luggage bag for the roof. It worked well, but I have been itching for extra room to carry more people since I do carry mom up to huntsville with me occasionally, etc. We will see. Dustin has informed me that it is not a good idea for us to get a 3rd row right now and I have went and test drove a 3rd row just to inform myself that yea, this isn't happening right now. haha. Dustin just doesn't know that my determination is always strong (or maybe he does and that is why he went with the right wording of he doesn't think it's a good idea instead of just a flat out no.. he appealed to the realistic side of me). If I have to save up to buy one I'm going to do it. Now, by the time I get that saved up I may not need or want a 3rd row or Dustin may want a different vehicle, etc. BUT just know that for right now I want a 3rd row. :/ haha.
8. Make Carter a blanket - I made Dexter a blanket and I want to make Carter one too. I don't even have a theme for his poor little room right now so I haven't decided what fabric I want. I think I found some at JoAnn's a while back that I loved and was the same material as Dexter's. However, that was back in October and I don't know if they would even still have it. I need to go see soon.
9. Learn a new talent - I want to learn something new this year that I can physically do. I got my flute out the other day and played. First time I have played in a few years. It felt amazing. I would love to play again, but I just don't have the time to join the local band group that I played with for a few times before Dex was born. So, if I can learn something that I can do while at home with the kids that would be great.
That is it for now. I will occasionally go over my list and add new things, but these are the ones I have come up with for now. I do want to start adding in Monthly goals for house works, home life, etc... but these are the overall 2016 goals. I am sure this post is very badly grammatically written, but it is 1 a.m and I just don't feel like going back over it for errors. If you see one or think oh, her writing is very flawed, please keep the opinions to yourself. I don't write for you to point out my run on sentences, wrong commas, etc. I write to share what's on my mind and I hope you enjoy. Most of all I hope you too can make some new years resolutions or goals. Even if you don't keep them just make a few and aim to keep them. It's always worth the shot. Who knows you may even surprise yourself and keep them all.
Enjoy!
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
Surrender
Are y'all ready... this is going to be long long long! :)
Dustin and I had the pleasure of going to a Mercy Me concert downtown at the Vaun Braun Center. It was my first official concert that I had ever been to so I was pretty excited. It was definitely worth the wait! I love Mercy Me! I love just about every one of their songs and I can see myself relating to a lot of them. I wanted to share some thoughts with you that came to me while we were at the concert and it was sort of laid on my heart to share with others as well.
The show opened up with Tim Timmons and he was great as well. During his performance he shared with us a story from back when he was seeing his doctor. From what I could tell this was a cancer doctor? (if I'm wrong in this please correct me)(I'm assuming he was diagnosed with some sort of cancer) anyways, the first thing that was so touching is that he said he shouldn't be on this stage today it is only by God that he was on that stage! What a testimony in itself!! To see him standing up there after hearing about how he should be dead, but he lives everyday because God allows him to! So amazing!! So, back to my point... He was talking with his doctor and he was I guess asking her how she goes about telling people they are going to die and how they handle it. (I should have recorded this so I would have all the right words he actually said, because for some reason that sounds a little strange) So, during this conversation the doctor says that she sees a lot of people praying and praying and praying, but she doesn't see a lot of people surrendering! BOOM! She said it right there! Something that I myself have had a struggle with even on the little things! I see a lot of people praying and praying(I myself too sometimes) for God to do this or God please do that, but have you ever stopped to say let your will be done? Have you ever surrendered yourself to him even though you "think" that isn't what is supposed to happen? This personally hit home for me because here recently it was made clear to me what I am supposed to do with my professional life. I went back to school and I searched and searched and searched for something that I could do. I even spent many many nights and days praying that God would show me what I was supposed to do in my work career. I knew that I had a drive in me, but I couldn't pin point what it was for. so I just prayed. I picked a career goal, but deep down felt that it wasn't right. I just kept praying and sort of being impatient. Then, when the days kept going by, I finally just surrendered. I said, God, I know you have a plan for me and I know that you placed this drive in me for a reason so I am going to wait. You will show me when it is time. Then, boom, I had carter had some post partum stuff to work through and started seeing a counselor and all of a sudden it was clear. That is what I have been wanting to do for all my life. I want to help people! I want to hear their struggles and be a lending ear for them to talk to and get all of those anxieties and worries or fear or whatever it might be out. I have been good at that my whole life!! This is what I am called to do! This is why God has made me how I am today. This is why I am already good at these things and it is because this is my path. I know that we are all called to help those in need, but it was finally revealed to me that this is what I am supposed to do and I have been blown away by the clearness of it all after I finally surrendered to him and stopped trying to do it on my own, on my terms, and time. I am not saying that if you just surrender to him that everything is going to work out just fine and dandy for you, because we all know that sometimes the story doesn't end how we thought it would, but we have to remember that even when we go through our toughest trials and tribulations that it is not for us. It is for his glory and his will not ours. Who knows, I may get into this career path and my world may turn completely around. I don't know, but I do know that I hope that I can always know that whatever I am going through or whatever is happening that sometimes I need to stop praying, please god do this for me, but rather pray please god let your will be done!
Ok, now to the main show... MERCY ME!!!! They were so so so so good! I want to see them again! Like right now! You hear that, Mercy Me? You need to come back to Huntsville, AL right now and do another show just for me. :) Psh, who am I kidding, they don't read my little bitty blog! And, if you are, thank you for sharing your testimony about your childhood with your father! I am so glad that he turned his life around, but boy, you really made this woman cry and hurt for you even when I do not know you. I feel like we are forever connected with that testimony. I know I'll never forget it! Ok, enough of the sappy sappy! Let us get real again. Have you ever heard the song by them The Hurt and the Healer? IT's amazing! Go listen to it right now! Better yet, see it sung in concert. Anyways, this song has always been a favorite of mine even played on the radio for many reasons. However, when I heard it in person I was flooded with so much emotion. Have you ever hurt so much that you felt like a part of you has died. Everyday for a long time I felt like that after Marie died(some people just don't understand and that's okay because you won't unless it has happened to you and I am so glad that you haven't had to endure something like that! Be so very thankful. OR, be thankful that you have handled it better if you have). It has taken a long time for me to share my feelings on the subject because it just hurt to much to even think about. Have you ever hurt so bad that the thought of it just made your body hurt and cry out in a way that you can't describe? Yea, that has been what it has been like for a while and no one knew. So, when they would ask why I was so uptight or why I was having a bad day even when the things going bad weren't that bad. It was because underneath was a hurt that no human could fix. BUT, I've been praying and asking for healing in his terms and slowly but surely I feel it easing up. I've already shared with you that I can think about her now without crying like a big baby or even talk about her. She will forever be gone and a part of me will forever be gone too with her, but I am ALIVE, even though a part of me has died. I'm not sure if these words are even supposed to be meant like this, but for me that is what I take from them. IT's the point where the hurt and the Healer collide! I love this song and I can sing it today with such thankfulness that I do have a healer that I can run into and he can heal my heart from this and bring joy to a place that I have kept hidden for so long. I want you to be able to see the words and listen to it as well so I'll post both. I hope this song brings a bit of happiness to your life like it has mine. I smile from within every time I hear it because I am ALIVE! =D (not every word of this is wrapped in a bubble painted in felicia, but I do relate to a lot of it)
Why?
The question that is never far away
The healing doesn't come from being explained
Jesus please don't let this go in vain
You're all I have
All that remains
So here I am
What's left of me
Where glory meets my suffering
I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide
Breathe
Sometimes I feel it's all that I can do
Pain so deep that I can hardly move
Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You
Lord take hold and pull me through
So here I am
What's left of me
Where glory meets my suffering
I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide
It's the moment when humanity
Is overcome by majesty
When grace is ushered in for good
And all our scars are understood
When mercy takes it's rightful place
And all these questions fade away
When out of the weakness we must bow
And hear You say "It's over now"
I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take this heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into your arms open wide
When The hurt and the healer collide
[x2:]
Jesus come and break my fear
Wake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here
When the hurt and the healer collide
Jesus come and break my fear
Wake my heart and take my tears
And find Your glory even here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqBMNSuDf7g
Ok, enough of this sappyness! Is that even a word? Dustin, the boys, and I had a great Thanksgiving with all of our families! I am so glad that we got to see everyone! We and our friends had a Friendsgiving this year(they have done it before, but this was the first year that we were able to attend) and I cooked my first Thanksgiving turkey! It was delicious or at least I thought it was. I still have left over Turkey!! We went home the day before Thanksgiving and was able to relax a bit. Thanksgiving day we went up to Dustin's moms side of the family for a get together at a local church. I got to meet a lot of people I had not ever met before so that was really nice and the food was delicious as always! We left there and went over Aunt Charlotte's house and got to see everyone! I always love going to Aunt Charlotte's for get togethers. Then, we went to Aunt Cheryl's house to hang out with them and to visit with Scottie, Taqwa, and her brother(I can never remember his name! I feel so bad for this too because I should know it by now. I talk to him and enjoy our conversations, but I can't ever remember his name and feel bad for asking for it again. Does anyone else do this?)before they left back to Dallas(we all know how much I love these people!!!). And the soup was amazing! Then on Friday, mom watched the boys while Dustin and I got some Christmas shopping done and afterwards we ate Thanksgiving dinner at her house. So, it was a fun filled weekend. I am really looking forward to Christmas! Dexter is really getting into it. Anyways, what are your holiday plans? Anything good?
~Enjoy!
Dustin and I had the pleasure of going to a Mercy Me concert downtown at the Vaun Braun Center. It was my first official concert that I had ever been to so I was pretty excited. It was definitely worth the wait! I love Mercy Me! I love just about every one of their songs and I can see myself relating to a lot of them. I wanted to share some thoughts with you that came to me while we were at the concert and it was sort of laid on my heart to share with others as well.
The show opened up with Tim Timmons and he was great as well. During his performance he shared with us a story from back when he was seeing his doctor. From what I could tell this was a cancer doctor? (if I'm wrong in this please correct me)(I'm assuming he was diagnosed with some sort of cancer) anyways, the first thing that was so touching is that he said he shouldn't be on this stage today it is only by God that he was on that stage! What a testimony in itself!! To see him standing up there after hearing about how he should be dead, but he lives everyday because God allows him to! So amazing!! So, back to my point... He was talking with his doctor and he was I guess asking her how she goes about telling people they are going to die and how they handle it. (I should have recorded this so I would have all the right words he actually said, because for some reason that sounds a little strange) So, during this conversation the doctor says that she sees a lot of people praying and praying and praying, but she doesn't see a lot of people surrendering! BOOM! She said it right there! Something that I myself have had a struggle with even on the little things! I see a lot of people praying and praying(I myself too sometimes) for God to do this or God please do that, but have you ever stopped to say let your will be done? Have you ever surrendered yourself to him even though you "think" that isn't what is supposed to happen? This personally hit home for me because here recently it was made clear to me what I am supposed to do with my professional life. I went back to school and I searched and searched and searched for something that I could do. I even spent many many nights and days praying that God would show me what I was supposed to do in my work career. I knew that I had a drive in me, but I couldn't pin point what it was for. so I just prayed. I picked a career goal, but deep down felt that it wasn't right. I just kept praying and sort of being impatient. Then, when the days kept going by, I finally just surrendered. I said, God, I know you have a plan for me and I know that you placed this drive in me for a reason so I am going to wait. You will show me when it is time. Then, boom, I had carter had some post partum stuff to work through and started seeing a counselor and all of a sudden it was clear. That is what I have been wanting to do for all my life. I want to help people! I want to hear their struggles and be a lending ear for them to talk to and get all of those anxieties and worries or fear or whatever it might be out. I have been good at that my whole life!! This is what I am called to do! This is why God has made me how I am today. This is why I am already good at these things and it is because this is my path. I know that we are all called to help those in need, but it was finally revealed to me that this is what I am supposed to do and I have been blown away by the clearness of it all after I finally surrendered to him and stopped trying to do it on my own, on my terms, and time. I am not saying that if you just surrender to him that everything is going to work out just fine and dandy for you, because we all know that sometimes the story doesn't end how we thought it would, but we have to remember that even when we go through our toughest trials and tribulations that it is not for us. It is for his glory and his will not ours. Who knows, I may get into this career path and my world may turn completely around. I don't know, but I do know that I hope that I can always know that whatever I am going through or whatever is happening that sometimes I need to stop praying, please god do this for me, but rather pray please god let your will be done!
Ok, now to the main show... MERCY ME!!!! They were so so so so good! I want to see them again! Like right now! You hear that, Mercy Me? You need to come back to Huntsville, AL right now and do another show just for me. :) Psh, who am I kidding, they don't read my little bitty blog! And, if you are, thank you for sharing your testimony about your childhood with your father! I am so glad that he turned his life around, but boy, you really made this woman cry and hurt for you even when I do not know you. I feel like we are forever connected with that testimony. I know I'll never forget it! Ok, enough of the sappy sappy! Let us get real again. Have you ever heard the song by them The Hurt and the Healer? IT's amazing! Go listen to it right now! Better yet, see it sung in concert. Anyways, this song has always been a favorite of mine even played on the radio for many reasons. However, when I heard it in person I was flooded with so much emotion. Have you ever hurt so much that you felt like a part of you has died. Everyday for a long time I felt like that after Marie died(some people just don't understand and that's okay because you won't unless it has happened to you and I am so glad that you haven't had to endure something like that! Be so very thankful. OR, be thankful that you have handled it better if you have). It has taken a long time for me to share my feelings on the subject because it just hurt to much to even think about. Have you ever hurt so bad that the thought of it just made your body hurt and cry out in a way that you can't describe? Yea, that has been what it has been like for a while and no one knew. So, when they would ask why I was so uptight or why I was having a bad day even when the things going bad weren't that bad. It was because underneath was a hurt that no human could fix. BUT, I've been praying and asking for healing in his terms and slowly but surely I feel it easing up. I've already shared with you that I can think about her now without crying like a big baby or even talk about her. She will forever be gone and a part of me will forever be gone too with her, but I am ALIVE, even though a part of me has died. I'm not sure if these words are even supposed to be meant like this, but for me that is what I take from them. IT's the point where the hurt and the Healer collide! I love this song and I can sing it today with such thankfulness that I do have a healer that I can run into and he can heal my heart from this and bring joy to a place that I have kept hidden for so long. I want you to be able to see the words and listen to it as well so I'll post both. I hope this song brings a bit of happiness to your life like it has mine. I smile from within every time I hear it because I am ALIVE! =D (not every word of this is wrapped in a bubble painted in felicia, but I do relate to a lot of it)
Why?
The question that is never far away
The healing doesn't come from being explained
Jesus please don't let this go in vain
You're all I have
All that remains
So here I am
What's left of me
Where glory meets my suffering
I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide
Breathe
Sometimes I feel it's all that I can do
Pain so deep that I can hardly move
Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You
Lord take hold and pull me through
So here I am
What's left of me
Where glory meets my suffering
I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide
It's the moment when humanity
Is overcome by majesty
When grace is ushered in for good
And all our scars are understood
When mercy takes it's rightful place
And all these questions fade away
When out of the weakness we must bow
And hear You say "It's over now"
I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take this heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into your arms open wide
When The hurt and the healer collide
[x2:]
Jesus come and break my fear
Wake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here
When the hurt and the healer collide
Jesus come and break my fear
Wake my heart and take my tears
And find Your glory even here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqBMNSuDf7g
Ok, enough of this sappyness! Is that even a word? Dustin, the boys, and I had a great Thanksgiving with all of our families! I am so glad that we got to see everyone! We and our friends had a Friendsgiving this year(they have done it before, but this was the first year that we were able to attend) and I cooked my first Thanksgiving turkey! It was delicious or at least I thought it was. I still have left over Turkey!! We went home the day before Thanksgiving and was able to relax a bit. Thanksgiving day we went up to Dustin's moms side of the family for a get together at a local church. I got to meet a lot of people I had not ever met before so that was really nice and the food was delicious as always! We left there and went over Aunt Charlotte's house and got to see everyone! I always love going to Aunt Charlotte's for get togethers. Then, we went to Aunt Cheryl's house to hang out with them and to visit with Scottie, Taqwa, and her brother(I can never remember his name! I feel so bad for this too because I should know it by now. I talk to him and enjoy our conversations, but I can't ever remember his name and feel bad for asking for it again. Does anyone else do this?)before they left back to Dallas(we all know how much I love these people!!!). And the soup was amazing! Then on Friday, mom watched the boys while Dustin and I got some Christmas shopping done and afterwards we ate Thanksgiving dinner at her house. So, it was a fun filled weekend. I am really looking forward to Christmas! Dexter is really getting into it. Anyways, what are your holiday plans? Anything good?
~Enjoy!
Monday, November 9, 2015
Sweet memories
Tonight I am taking a trip down memory lane. It started out with me looking for a photo that my aunt, Diana, had posted of her husband trimming some hedges country style. Then, I started looking through some of my own old photos so I thought I would share some photos and the meaning or stories behind some of them. This might become a regular post whenever I get time.
I love looking back on our lives and seeing where we come from. It has taken me a long time to remember to smile back to the past because my younger past was full of heartache. When you loose 2 members of your family within 4 years of each other it can make looking back pretty sad sometimes. At one time some of these photos just made me sad, but now I can look at them and remember their story! These memories are so precious and I hope that we can all remember to look back at our past and find the happy moments and laugh instead of look at them with sadness. So lets begin.
This first photo is of my sister, Marie. She did a huge part in raising me and meant more to me than most anything in this world. I never really knew just how much she was a part of me until she passed away suddenly. I miss her everyday and it is taking a lot of work through to remember the good things and all the great memories we had. And, most of all to look back at pictures like this and giggle just a little. This was her Felicia if you don't leave me alone look I am going to smack you.... Oh, how I miss her giving me this look. I can't tell you how many times she must have given me this look.
This is a better picture of her. This is my family minus my dad. He passed away a little over 2 years before this picture was taken. It is one of the last pictures I have of all my family. This was my high school graduation. I laugh when I see these pictures, because I don't think I got a one where we were all just smiling. Someone was always making a funny face or laughing.
And, then you have just the sisters. I love them more than anything. Since Marie passed away I feel like I became much more close with my little sister, Denise. She is such a strong person. Have you ever seen this woman dig up a water pipe in the front yard and replace it by herself? I have. In fact, I'm trying to talk her into coming up and "helping" me fix our broken water pipe. I love her more than life and no one could ever replace her. Just in the last few months I have been noticing more and more that Denise is a lot like Marie in regards to the way that she does things. She is so patient with the kids, understanding, and most of all has such a strong soul.
Lets not forget I have a brother. His name is Wayne, He may not be around a lot because of his job, but I know that if either of us were hurt or really needed him to come he would. He is so TALL!! When I am looking at these pictures I just can't help but think.. is Dexter going to be this tall. I secretly hope that he is!
This picture was taken at Gadsden Regional. Mother was in the ICU there and had to have a triple bypass done. Denise had graduated while she was in the hospital so she came up there with her cap and gown to show momma.
I stumbled upon this gem while going through some old photos. This was the day that Mary Jack, Lynn, me, denise and (I think)john matt were leaving to go to Arizona! As you can see I was still not a morning person back then. Jonathan stayed behind to tend to the house(I think). Honestly, I don't really remember why Jonathan wasn't going(maybe work?) I love that I was able to experience this trip as a kid. What wonderful memories I have traveling with MJ & Lynn. I am sure that back then I didn't appreciate it as much as I REALLY DO today. I look back at these memories and pictures like this and I am so thankful. Thankful to God that these people were placed in my life. That I have such wonderful family all around.
Let us talk about this picture. Imagine it... Momma or someone went fishing. They bring the fish home and take them on the back porch to clean them. Out walks Felicia to see momma STABBING her fish to death!!! It was one of the funniest ways I have ever seen anyone try to kill a fish! I am sure it was already dead by that point, but I asked her why she was stabbing it and she said because her knife wasn't big enough to chop the head off! WHAT! Anyways, here is a picture from that day of momma and denise with their fish. you can even see the small little knife on the porch that momma was using to "clean" her fish. Is she trying to get that fish to talk to me? After she stabbed it?
AND best of all.... you guys see this look? do you see it in his eyes? This is why I married this man! (ok, ok, there were plenty other reasons) Even to this day when I see this look of such happiness it makes me weak at my knees! This is by far one of my favorite pictures of Dustin. What a wonderful man I have and I hope and pray that for many many many infinity years that I can still get this look out of him. If this face can't make you smile I don't know what will.
~I have found the one my soul loves~
What are some memories that you have?
Enjoy!
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