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My name is Felicia Inman and my husband is Dustin Inman. We live in Huntsville, AL and have two children, Dexter and Carter. Hope you enjoy!!

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Surrender

Are y'all ready... this is going to be long long long!  :)

Dustin and I had the pleasure of going to a Mercy Me concert downtown at the Vaun Braun Center.  It was my first official concert that I had ever been to so I was pretty excited.  It was definitely worth the wait!  I love Mercy Me!  I love just about every one of their songs and I can see myself relating to a lot of them.  I wanted to share some thoughts with you that came to me while we were at the concert and it was sort of laid on my heart to share with others as well.

The show opened up with Tim Timmons and he was great as well.  During his performance he shared with us a story from back when he was seeing his doctor.  From what I could tell this was a cancer doctor? (if I'm wrong in this please correct me)(I'm assuming he was diagnosed with some sort of cancer) anyways, the first thing that was so touching is that he said he shouldn't be on this stage today it is only by God that he was on that stage!  What a testimony in itself!!  To see him standing up there after hearing about how he should be dead, but he lives everyday because God allows him to!  So amazing!!  So, back to my point...  He was talking with his doctor and he was I guess asking her how she goes about telling people they are going to die and how they handle it.  (I should have recorded this so I would have all the right words he actually said, because for some reason that sounds a little strange)  So, during this conversation the doctor says that she sees a lot of people praying and praying and praying, but she doesn't see a lot of people surrendering!  BOOM!  She said it right there!  Something that I myself have had a struggle with even on the little things!  I see a lot of people praying and praying(I myself too sometimes) for God to do this or God please do that, but have you ever stopped to say let your will be done?  Have you ever surrendered yourself to him even though you "think" that isn't what is supposed to happen?  This personally hit home for me because here recently it was made clear to me what I am supposed to do with my professional life.  I went back to school and I searched and searched and searched for something that I could do.  I even spent many many nights and days praying that God would show me what I was supposed to do in my work career.  I knew that I had a drive in me, but I couldn't pin point what it was for.  so I just prayed. I picked a career goal, but deep down felt that it wasn't right.  I just kept praying and sort of being impatient.  Then, when the days kept going by, I finally just surrendered.  I said, God, I know you have a plan for me and I know that you placed this drive in me for a reason so I am going to wait.  You will show me when it is time.  Then, boom, I had carter had some post partum stuff to work through and started seeing a counselor and all of a sudden it was clear.  That is what I have been wanting to do for all my life.  I want to help people!  I want to hear their struggles and be a lending ear for them to talk to and get all of those anxieties and worries or fear or whatever it might be out.  I have been good at that my whole life!!  This is what I am called to do! This is why God has made me how I am today.  This is why I am already good at these things and it is because this is my path.   I know that we are all called to help those in need, but it was finally revealed to me that this is what I am supposed to do and I have been blown away by the clearness of it all after I finally surrendered to him and stopped trying to do it on my own, on my terms, and time.  I am not saying that if you just surrender to him that everything is going to work out just fine and dandy for you, because we all know that sometimes the story doesn't end how we thought it would, but we have to remember that even when we go through our toughest trials and tribulations that it is not for us.  It is for his glory and his will not ours.  Who knows, I may get into this career path and my world may turn completely around.  I don't know, but I do know that I hope that I can always know that whatever I am going through or whatever is happening that sometimes I need to stop praying, please god do this for me, but rather pray please god let your will be done!

Ok, now to the main show... MERCY ME!!!!  They were so so so so good!  I want to see them again!  Like right now!  You hear that, Mercy Me?  You need to come back to Huntsville, AL  right now and do another show just for me.  :)  Psh, who am I kidding, they don't read my little bitty blog!  And, if you are, thank you for sharing your testimony about your childhood with your father!  I am so glad that he turned his life around, but boy, you really made this woman cry and hurt for you even when I do not know you.  I feel like we are forever connected with that testimony.  I know I'll never forget it!  Ok, enough of the sappy sappy! Let us get real again.  Have you ever heard the song by them The Hurt and the Healer?  IT's amazing!  Go listen to it right now!  Better yet, see it sung in concert.  Anyways, this song has always been a favorite of mine even played on the radio for many reasons.  However, when I heard it in person I was flooded with so much emotion.  Have you ever hurt so much that you felt like a part of you has died.  Everyday for a long time I felt like that after Marie died(some people just don't understand and that's okay because you won't unless it has happened to you and I am so glad that you haven't had to endure something like that!  Be so very thankful.  OR, be thankful that you have handled it better if you have).  It has taken a long time for me to share my feelings on the subject because it just hurt to much to even think about.  Have you ever hurt so bad that the thought of it just made your body hurt and cry out in a way that you can't describe?  Yea, that has been what it has been like for a while and no one knew.  So, when they would ask why I was so uptight or why I was having a bad day even when the things going bad weren't that bad.  It was because underneath was a hurt that no human could fix.  BUT, I've been praying and asking for healing in his terms and slowly but surely I feel it easing up.  I've already shared with you that I can think about her now without crying like a big baby or even talk about her.  She will forever be gone and a part of me will forever be gone too with her, but I am ALIVE, even though a part of me has died.  I'm not sure if these words are even supposed to be meant like this, but for me that is what I take from them.  IT's the point where the hurt and the Healer collide!  I love this song and I can sing it today with such thankfulness that I do have a healer that I can run into and he can heal my heart from this and bring joy to a place that I have kept hidden for so long.  I want you to be able to see the words and listen to it as well so I'll post both.  I hope this song brings a bit of happiness to your life like it has mine.  I smile from within every time I hear it because I am ALIVE!  =D  (not every word of this is wrapped in a bubble painted in felicia, but I do relate to a lot of it)

Why?
The question that is never far away
The healing doesn't come from being explained
Jesus please don't let this go in vain
You're all I have
All that remains

So here I am
What's left of me
Where glory meets my suffering

I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide

Breathe
Sometimes I feel it's all that I can do
Pain so deep that I can hardly move
Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You
Lord take hold and pull me through

So here I am
What's left of me
Where glory meets my suffering

I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide

It's the moment when humanity
Is overcome by majesty
When grace is ushered in for good
And all our scars are understood
When mercy takes it's rightful place
And all these questions fade away
When out of the weakness we must bow
And hear You say "It's over now"

I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take this heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into your arms open wide
When The hurt and the healer collide

[x2:]
Jesus come and break my fear
Wake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here
When the hurt and the healer collide

Jesus come and break my fear
Wake my heart and take my tears
And find Your glory even here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqBMNSuDf7g


Ok, enough of this sappyness!  Is that even a word?  Dustin, the boys, and I had a great Thanksgiving with all of our families!  I am so glad that we got to see everyone!  We and our friends had a Friendsgiving this year(they have done it before, but this was the first year that we were able to attend) and I cooked my first Thanksgiving turkey!  It was delicious or at least I thought it was.  I still have left over Turkey!!  We went home the day before Thanksgiving and was able to relax a bit.  Thanksgiving day we went up to Dustin's moms side of the family for a get together at a local church.  I got to meet a lot of people I had not ever met before so that was really nice and the food was delicious as always!  We left there and went over Aunt Charlotte's house and got to see everyone!  I always love going to Aunt Charlotte's for get togethers.  Then, we went to Aunt Cheryl's house to hang out with them and to visit with Scottie, Taqwa, and her brother(I can never remember his name!  I feel so bad for this too because I should know it by now.  I talk to him and enjoy our conversations, but I can't ever remember his name and feel bad for asking for it again.  Does anyone else do this?)before they left back to Dallas(we all know how much I love these people!!!). And the soup was amazing!  Then on Friday, mom watched the boys while Dustin and I got some Christmas shopping done and afterwards we ate Thanksgiving dinner at her house.  So, it was a fun filled weekend.  I am really looking forward to Christmas!  Dexter is really getting into it. Anyways, what are your holiday plans?  Anything good?



~Enjoy!